Italian Drama
by ItalianaBabi07
Summary: A girls night out becomes a hectic ride. Boys are included & love & romance goes haywire! not exactly what Amanda was expecting...
1. The Beginning Of A New Saga

Italian Drama 

EPISODE 1: The Beginning Of A New Saga

By: Amanda H.

Nobody expected this. My friends Cristal, Kayla, and I were on our way to the Hampton's when we got caught in the rain, and we got lost. We asked someone for help, and out of all people, it just so happened to be Frankie from the Gotti's. I didn't know who he was, but my friends did. We hung out at his house for a while just until the rain calmed down. But the storm went on and on through the night so we ended up staying at his house. We met his mom and his brothers, and some of their friends. Cristal tried flirting with John, and Kayla and Carmine couldn't keep their hands off each other. I on the other hand, kept to myself.

We did alot of stuff. We took a ride in their cars, and we went out dancing. I kept looking at John, and I caught him looking at me once or twice. I thought he was really good-looking and I was sort of jealous that Cristal was with him. He came up to me, and asked if I wanted to dance, but Cristal gave me an arkward glance so I turned him down. When I wouldn't dance with him, he asked me to have a drink with him. I agreed, only if we drank soda. I didn't want anybody drinking liquor and then drinking and driving on our way home.

"So you girls having fun?" He asked.

"Well I don't know about them, but I am."

"You mind if I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"You like my brother Frankie?"

"Why? Who want's to know?"

"Me. I want to know."

"Not really. He's really sweet, but we got nothing in common."

"You speak Italian?"

"Of course! What kind of Italian would I be if I couldn't speak Italian?" I smiled.

"That's my kind of girl!"

I laughed. "You're really funny."

"Thanks." He grinned. I think he thought I was flirting with him, but I really wasn't. By now, I just wanted to go home.

"So John, you got any special things you into?" I asked, trying to make conversation.

"Yeah. Actually I'm trying to do some boxing."

"Well that's cool. It's risky to be in that kind of business. But if it's fun for you, why not go for it?"

He smiled. "So you into boxing?"

"A little. My dad watches it, so sometimes if I see a boxing match on, I'll sit and watch it. It is interesting."

John and I talked for a long time, and when we got back home, we all decided to play football in the rain. I made it up, because I figured it would be fun. They had a big backyard. We split in teams, and before you knew it, people were getting tackled left and right.

Kayla complained about her nails, and Cristal hated being tackled. But I loved it. It was football people! Either play it right, or don't play it at all! As the game kept moving on, I caught the ball and started running for it. John tackled me to the ground, and even though we were both muddy and soaked, we laughed about it, and we were about to kiss, when suddenly I changed the subject and got up in a hurry. He walked away, as I tried not to look at him anymore. Cristal was crushin' on him, so I had to stay away. I knew my boundaries.

Frankie kept trying to sweet talk me, and put his arm around me, but I wasn't stupid. And beside's, I didn't come here to flirt with guys. Normally I would be all for it, and having a fun time, but I wanted to get settled in the Hamptons first, and then party. We all just pretty much chatted in the living room with each other. The only person missing, was John.

I asked if I could have a drink, and Frankie walked with me to get something. His mom was chatting on the phone, and I saw John sitting at the kitchen table. When I got a glass of ice water, I sat down next to John and told Frankie that I'd meet him in the living room in a few minutes. I could tell that something was up with John, and I felt that I had to help him out.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"What makes you think something's wrong with me?" He said, in his strong Italian accent.

"We Italian's know each other way too well." I grinned, and he smiled back at me. "So from one Italian to another, what's going on? You okay?"

"Well I got female problems."

I laughed. "Well I'm a female. Let's see if I can help you."

"Normally I wouldn't be complaining if a girl was hanging all over me..."

"So what's the problem then?" By now, his mother had left the kitchen. It was just the two of us.

"Well she's not exactly the girl I thought was going to be the one all over me."

"Cristal right?" I asked.

"How'd you know?" He asked, blushing.

"I can tell by your reaction when she's around you."

"So you have been looking at me." He smirked.

I tried to make a good cover. "No offense, but I was actually checking to make sure you weren't messing with my girl. She is one of my best friends."

He rolled his eyes. "You're such a liar."

I got up, and pushed my glass of water towards him. "Here, your going to need this. You'll be here a while."

He stood up, and started following me to the living room. He cut me off, and grabbed my hand. "Don't walk away when you know you like me." He grinned.

"Excuse me?" I took my hand away from him. "Don't touch me, unless asked too." I smiled, and walked away.

When we entered, everybody stared at us, as if we just got caught in the act of committing some sort of crime.

"Is everybody okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, we're fine. We were just beginning to wonder what was taking you guys so long." Kayla answered.

"We were just talking." I told her. Frankie came up to me and put his arm around me. I took his arm off of me and tried to slowly move away from him.

John looked at me funny and as I sat on the couch, he sat right on the floor next to me. We all started joking around again, and one of the boys' friends kept aggravating me, whispering to me to kiss John. I finally yelled at him to leave me alone, and everybody just stared at me.

"Amanda, what's wrong?" Cristal asked.

"Um, nothing. I just spased out, that's all." I sort of gave her a fake smile.

"Okay..." She looked at me funny.

"Just kiss him! I'll pay you 50 dollars..." This kid just wouldn't leave me alone.

"Kiss who?" John asked.

"You!"

I turned red, and John looked away. "Do you guys like each other?" Kayla asked, as Carmine held her hand.

"NO!" I yelled. John didn't even get to answer. Everybody waited for his reply. He just got up and walked up to his room.

Cristal got up and ran to the bathroom crying her eyes out. I was so mad that all this was happening. Once again, all the attention was on me.

"What? I wasn't going to kiss him!" I yelled.

"Why not?" Kay asked.

"Cristal likes him! I would never jeopardize a friendship over a boy." I told her.

"But by the looks of it, he likes you. Not her."

Frankie walked up to me. "So you like John?" I didn't answer him. "Answer me!" He yelled. I just froze. I didn't know what to do. "Just forget it." Frankie walked up to his room, and slammed the door shut.

Carmine asked everybody to leave, except for me and Kayla. We were staying overnight. I had to find out how Cristal was doing, so I went to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

"Go away Amanda, I know it's you." She told me.

"Cristal, you can't hide in there forever."

"I can stay in here until we leave."

"Cristal, just talk to me." She opened the door and we sat in the living room. Carmine and Kay were too busy flirting to even pay attention to us. "Let me explain..."

"Explain what? That you like John, and you wouldn't tell me? Or for the fact that you made me look like an idiot in front of all these people? Especially John himself! I was flirting with him the whole time, thinking I had a chance, when all along he wanted you!"

"Cristal he kinda gave me the hint he liked me, when we were in the kitchen talking. But I did not like him until then. But even though I do, I won't EVER make a move on him, knowing you like him. I would take a friend rather than a boy any day." She smiled at me, wiping her tears. "I think he's great and everything, but I'm not that type of girl to turn her back on her friend. You told me in the beginning that you were crushin' on him, so I have no right."

"But he's not a piece of property. You can have him, if you want."

"No I don't. Trust me. I'm not going to do that to you." She smiled at me, and we hugged. Then before Kay, Cristal, and I headed to the guestroom for the night, I decided to go talk to John. I walked up to his room, passing his mother's room. I saw her because her door was opened, and said good night to her as she got ready to go out with a few of her friends.

I knocked on John's door. I could hear some music blasting in the background. I knocked again, and he lowered the music down. I knocked once more, and he opened it up for me.

"What do you want?" He asked.

"I wanted to know if we could talk?" I asked, looking inside his room.

"Yeah. Come in." He shut the door behind me, as I walked in slowly, not knowing where to go. "Come sit with me on the bed." I sat down next to him, and stared at him. He was very handsome, and I was remembering when we were in the kitchen talking, and I loved his smile. I had to admit, that I was developing a crush on him myself, but I knew where I stood. And that was as far away from him as I could. "So what do you want to talk about?"

"I hope you didn't expect to just forget about what happened downstairs." I told him.

"Well what's to talk about? We got embarrassed, and that's it."

"No, that's not it. You and I both know that you expected something to happen."

He looked at me, and then looked around his room. "My friends could tell I was crushin' on you. So they wanted you to kiss me. I didn't think that it was such a bad idea. But you made it out to look like it was so horrible."

"I'm sorry I made it out to look that way, but you have to understand the situation I'm in."

"Your not in no situation, so don't try to make some stupid excuse."

"I am in a situation. Cristal likes you. And I'm not going to lose a friend over a boy. I'm sorry, but it's just not going to happen."

"So you mean to tell me, that you don't like me at all? That you could care less about me?" I looked away and ignored him. "Amanda, no offense, I know you're trying to be a good friend and all, but I think you need to start thinking about your own feelings first, before you worry about someone else's."

I got up and headed towards the door. "It's not that easy." I said, as I opened the door.

John came from behind me and slammed the door shut. "And why the hell not?" He yelled. "Why can't you just worry about yourself, and no one else! I know she's your friend, but she has nothing in common with me. She can't speak Italian, and she's too young for me anyways." I turned around to face him. "You won't even give me the time of day! What's with you! I don't understand!" He yelled.

I sat down on his bed again, as he followed me and sat next to me. "You want to know how I feel John? You really want to know?" He nodded his head yes. "I do like you. I think you're very handsome, and I think you're very nice. The conversation we had was awesome, and I enjoy hanging out with you. But I will never choose a boy over a friend, and that's that." He stared at me again, and didn't say a word. "John? Are you okay?" He leaned in and kissed me. I kissed him back and then backed away. "We shouldn't have done that." I whispered.

"I'm sorry-" He tried apoligizing, but I cut him off. I kissed him again and this time it lasted a while, until Carmine, Kayla, and Cristal showed up. They opened the door, not even knocking first, and just stood there in shock with their mouth's wide open.

John and I backed off each other, slowly, and he looked away, as I looked at my friends and Carmine, not knowing what to say. "This isn't what it looks like--" I tried to explain.

"Yes it is! You finally kissed John!" Kayla yelled, happy as ever. While Cristal on the other hand didn't look too happy.

"But-"

"It was a mistake..we just got caught up in the moment." John cut me off.

"A little too caught up, eh bro?" Carmine joked, as he gave his brother daps.

"We better be going. It's getting late." I said, as I gave John a hug and walked away with my friends. Cristal wouldn't even look at me. I felt so awful. I finally got her to trust me again, and she just saw me kiss John! I was so stupid...

When we got into the guestroom, and were getting ready for bed, I tried talking to Cristal again, but she was giving me the 'silent treatment'. She wouldn't look at me or talk to me. Finally I gave up, and just went to bed.

When I woke up and we all went down for breakfast, John and I sat at the table, and were very quiet. We both didn't know what to say to each other.

"John, what's wrong with you? Why aren't you talking?" His mother asked him.

"He got caught kissing Amanda last night." Carmine spilled. He was laughing, while Frankie just gave John the 'evil eye'. I wanted to kill Carmine for letting everybody know what happened.

"You what?" She asked.

"Nothing ma, can't we just eat in peace? Damn." He got up and walked out the kitchen.

"John! Get back here!" She yelled.

"You kissed John?" Frankie asked me, angrily.

"We didn't--" I started, but I never got to finish.

"What's wrong with you? Do you flirt with every guy you meet!"

"Guys! What's going on!" Victoria asked.

"Ma'am, may I be excused?" I asked, politely.

"No! You may not! I want to know when this happened! Nobody tells me anything anymore!" Frankie yelled.

"She kissed him, what's the big deal?" Kayla shrugged. Cristal just kept quiet, as she drank her OJ.

"STOP IT!" I screamed. Everybody zipped their lips. Cristal put her cup of OJ down. "Fine, I'll admit we kissed each other. And for once in my life, I wasn't thinking about hurting someone else, or worrying about someone else's feelings. I was worrying about mine! And I'm not going to lie to any of you! I enjoyed every minute of it! John likes me, and I like him too...everybody just needs to deal with it! Cristal, you don't have anything in common with him, and Frankie I have nothing in common with you, so if you think that we were ever going to be together, you were wrong." John walked back into the kitchen. "I admit I'm a mess. I flirt non-stop, but that's only because I thought about my friends first and how much they liked that certain guy. So I always backed off. Well now I'm crushin' on someone, and everybody all of a sudden has a problem with it! Well too bad. This is not meant at all for Victoria, so excuse me when I say this; but ya'll can kiss my a." John smiled at me. I got up, and walked towards John. He took my hand, and we went back to the guestroom to talk privately.

John and I went back to the guestroom, and I started packing as he tried to persuade me to stay.

"I can't. My parent's think I'm in the Hampton's. I keep lying to them when they call my celly. Beside's, as much as I like you, I don't think this would work."

"Why not?"

"John, you're a Gotti. I'm an old school girl. Our world's are so different. We would never make it."

"So your going to give up? Just like that? Take off and leave, and hopefully we'll see each other again?" He was pacing back and forth. Finally he turned me around to face him, and started kissing me again. He pinned me up against the wall and I kept kissing him back. He started putting his hand up the back of my shirt, and then I pushed him away. "Please--" He begged.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this." He got away from me and started yelling.

"Why do you keep running away! I can't stand this!" He screamed.

"Why are you getting so angry?" I asked him.

"Why am I getting so angry? Why do you think? We've been having a good time...and now you want to walk out of here like nothing ever happened."

"John what happened last night was a mistake..."

"Was it? Or are you just too scared to face the truth?" He walked out, slamming the door behind him.

I didn't know whether to run after him or just stand there. I knew I really liked him, but I was just so scared of having a relationship, that I pushed everybody I have ever loved away from me.

Kayla kept going on and on about how she was going to miss Carmine, and how she wanted him to come with us to the Hamptons. She begged me to bring him. Frankie wouldn't talk to me. Cristal wouldn't even look at me. John was so mad at me because I wouldn't be with him. Everybody I came in contact with, basically hated me. I couldn't take it anymore.

I told Kayla she could bring Carmine to the Hamptons with us. He told his brother's and John asked Kayla to ask me if he could come. Finally I asked Frankie if he wanted to come because I felt bad. I didn't want to leave him here all alone.

I had a long talk with both Cristal, and Frankie and worked everything out. They understand everything that happened between John and I and they couldn't wait to get to the Hamptons just so we could party and they could meet some new people.

Before we all got in the cars, John pulled me aside to tell me something. He kissed me softly on the lips. "This is what you could've had." Is all he had to say, and then he walked away from me.

We were once again, on our way to the Hamptons. But this time, we were going to make it there.


	2. Love Is Blind

Italian Drama

EPISODE 2: Love Is Blind

By: Amanda H.

We finally made it to the Hamptons, and it was still light out by the time we got there. I was so excited to be there. I was just happy because I knew now that I could have some fun and flirt with all the boys I wanted. I still was crushing on John and I was kind of worried that he hated me. But I had no idea what to do with him. He wouldn't talk to me, so it wasn't like I couldn't even try to tell him something.

We all decided to go out and party that night. I thought it would help me get my mind off John, but it didn't. Normally I'm not a fan of drinking liquor, but at the bar I had been watching John the whole time, and he was hanging with a bunch of girls and flirting with one in particular. My friends asked me to dance, and even Frankie and Carmine tried making me feel better by asking me to dance with them, but I wasn't in the mood. I just wanted to talk to John, and see him smile again. I wanted to be the one flirting with John.

I sat at the bar by myself while everybody else had a fun time. I had so much to drink that I almost passed out. Finally Cristal saw me almost falling off the stool, and they all brought me back to the house. John's new girl friend also came along.

When we got home, I was so dizzy. I just walked straight to my room and layed down. I passed out, and John was so busy with his new girl friend that he brought home, that he didn't even pay attention to me.

Cristal, Kay, Carmine, and Frankie were all in the kitchen talking when they realized that John was ignoring me.

"I don't know what's going on between them. All I know is that he's with another girl right now, and when we left our house, she was yelling at us about how much she liked him." Kay started.

"Yea I know. John isn't like this. So something must really be bothering him." Carmine said.

Cristal could see me in my room. I was crying. "I wish we could help her. Look at her; she's a mess."

They all looked at me. "I think the only person who could help her is John. And he's a little busy." Frankie said, as they all turned to look at John as his new girl friend tried kissing him. They noticed that he backed away and shook his head. "Well that's weird. Why would he turn down a kiss?" He asked.

"For the obvious reason. He does care about Amanda. He's just trying to get her jealous." Kayla responded.

All of a sudden, I ran to the bathroom. I started puking and crying at the same time. John came running out of the living room to help me. He hugged me and asked if I was okay.

"Get away from me!" I yelled, drunkily.

"But--"

"Please, just go away!" I yelled, crying.

"But Amanda I want to--"

"GO!" I screamed! Finally everybody decided to see what the screaming was all about. I got up, and tried to walk back towards my room, but I almost fell. John caught me. "Let me go!" I screamed. Trying to fight him off of me.

"No! Amanda stop it! I'm trying to help you!" He yelled back, as he held me tightly.

I cried. "John, I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay." He held me tighter.

"I'm so sorry..." I cried some more.

"Who is she?" John's new girl friend asked. She stood there as if waiting for someone to answer her.

"She's not you." Frankie told her. "Now get out. Before we all kick your a." He showed her the door, as she left.

John carried me to my room, and took care of me as I layed down and went to sleep. He stayed by me all night, and was there everytime I woke up, and started crying or puking all over again.

The next morning I woke up, with the worst hangover ever imaginable. While my friends were having fun, I was stuck at home watching movies with John. He offered to keep me company until I got better. I had no idea what happened to me the night before until Carmine told me what happened. When I woke up with John next to me, I figured we talked everything out, and fell asleep.

"You were a mess yesterday. We brought you home, and John was flirting with some girl until he seen that you were in real trouble. Then he stayed with you the rest of the night to make sure you were okay."

"You mean, John took care of me?"

"Yeah. I guess he really does like you." Carmine walked away.

I walked back into my room and stood in the doorway and watched as John put in another movie. He finally saw me standing there and asked me why I was staring at him. I sat on the bed next to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "What was that for?" He asked.

"For yesterday."

"What about yesterday?" He asked, playing dumb.

"Don't act stupid. Your brother told me that I got really drunk, and you took care of me the whole night. That was why you woke up on the side of me."

"He wasn't supposed to tell you." John looked away.

"Well he did. And I'm glad he did. No guy ever did that for me. I think it was really sweet of you." I climbed on top of him; sitting on his lap, and started kissing him.

He stopped kissing me to say something, "Whoa. Maybe you should get sick more often so I can get great rewards like this all the time.." We laughed as I got off of him. "Where you going?" He asked, a little disappointed. "That's it?"

I laughed at him. "Don't worry. They'll be plenty more to come." I walked out the room.

"Well hopefully it comes soon!" He yelled.

Around dinner time, we all sat together at the table and ate a deliciously homecooked meal by Frankie. He made the most delicious spaghetti and meatballs you have ever tasted. Everybody loved it. Frankie was an excellent cook.

"So are you guys finally over your stupid argument now?" Cristal asked me.

"Yes. We are." I smiled.

John looked at me and grinned. He twirled his fork in his spaghetti. "Definitly over it."

We laughed. "What's so funny?" Kayla asked.

"So now what? You two an item?" Carmine asked.

John and I looked away. We weren't completely sure of that. We hadn't thought about it. At least I hadn't. "We're going to talk about that later." I told him. John looked at me again. He looked completely confused.

"Well, I'm full..who feels like partying?" Frankie asked.

"I'll go out...but I'm not drinking this time." Everybody laughed, as I got up and out of my chair.

"By the way, where the hell's my gel at?" John asked. Everybody laughed. "I'm being serious! I need my gel!"

We took two cars. We took John's white BMW, and Carmine's blue Mercedes. Carmine and Kayla took Carmine's car; and John, Cristal, Frankie, and I took John's. We blasted our stereo systems, and we had a blast. We went to a nearby club, and everywhere the boys went, they drew attention. Alot of people recognized them from their show, and alot of girls were trying to dance with them which got both me and Kayla mad. Cristal and Frankie were getting close, but not so close. They just sat at the bar and drank a few and talked alot. John and Carmine were surrounded by girls. Kayla stood by her man the whole time, but me on the other hand; I just stayed far away. I figured that if John really wanted to hang with me that he would come up to me. But as I watched him, he was again flirting with a bunch of girls.

Finally he noticed me leaving the club and he ran to grab me to bring me back in. I was standing outside when he called my name.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"C'mon, go back in there."

"For what? To stand around and look like a complete fool?"

"To dance with me." He tried putting his arms around my waist but I pushed him away. "What's your problem?"

"You! We were doing good, until we came here. Then you flirt with a bunch of girls. If I hadn't walked out of there, you wouldn't be talking to me."

"Yes I would. I came here with you for a reason you know."

"Well you really don't show it."

"I'm sorry. Will you give me another chance?" He asked.

I sarcastically laughed. "You just don't get it."

"What's your problem! Damn! I'm trying to be real cool right now..." He yelled.

"Just leave me alone! No one asked you to come out here!" I yelled back at him.

"I can't believe I like you! You're so obnoxious. You're way too caught up in yourself!"

"Look who's talking; Mr. 'Crazy About His Gel'!"

John walked back in the club. He told everybody what happened. I stayed outside for a little while, to cool down, and then I went back in. I saw John talking to the same girl he was with the night before. I sat at the bar my myself, once again. But then a guy came up to me. He seemed really nice. But that was just his cover. He introduced himself as a guy named Andrew.

"What's a nice girl like you, doing all alone over here?" He asked, as he sat next to me.

I smiled at him. "I'm just taking a break from all this craziness."

"Yeah, those Gotti's can be a real trip."

I looked at him funny. "How'd you know it had to do with a Gotti?" I asked him.

"I seen you with the same guy last night. And he was doing the same thing to you. He was flirting with another girl while you sat here all alone. That's not exactly my way of treating a lady."

"Yeah, well John is not always like this."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. He's a real gentleman. I trust John." I told him.

"Well he's obviously got you wrapped around his finger too tight."

"Excuse me?" I was starting to get irritated.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to get in your business.."

"Well stay out of it!" I yelled at him.

We were quiet for a little while. "I'm sorry. I should'nt have said anything." He apoligized.

"No, it's my fault. I had no right to yell at you like that."

"It's okay." He laughed. "Your under alot of stress."

I laughed. "You can tell huh?"

"Yup." He smiled. "Hey, why don't we take a ride?" He asked, grabbing my hand.

I looked at John, and he seemed to be busy dancing with his ditzy blonde. "I don't know..." I was sort of hesitant at first. "Oh well. Why not?" I smiled, as he took my hand and pulled me towards the door.

As we neared the door, I started to worry that this wasn't so safe to just take off on my friends. But I took off with him anyways. We took a long ride in his nice car. He was really nice to me, until we parked the car at a beach.

"Wow. This is beautiful." I told him.

"Not nearly as beautiful as you." He tried leaning in for a kiss. But I pushed him away.

"Andrew, you know about me and John."

"Yes I know. But you guys aren't serious. Or else you would've never came with me." He grinned.

"But I still like him." Andrew wasn't too happy with what I had just said. "I think you better take me back." I told him.

"Not until you give me what's mine." He said, angrily.

"What are you talking about?" I asked him. He climbed on top of me and started touching me in places I didn't want to be touched. After he had finished with his pleasure he whispered in my ear to keep my mouth shut and not tell anybody what happened or else the person I loved most would be killed right in front of me; and he meant John. I just sat there and cried as he yelled at me to fix my face and clothes as we drove back to the club.

When we got there, my eyes were swollen with tears. I had tried to fix my clothes as best I could. I walked in, and everybody stared at me. Andrew drove off after he dropped me off. Frankie was the first to recognize me. He asked me if I was okay. I didn't tell him what happened because I was scared for John. I didn't say a word, and we all decided to go home. John even made Frankie drive his car home, while he tried to figure out what was wrong with me. But I wouldn't say a word, scared that Andrew was watching my every move.

When we got home, we all sat in the living room, and I stayed quiet while everybody asked me a million questions. I just wanted them all to leave me alone. I had a terrible headache, and I just wanted to take a shower. But nobody would let me leave the living room without telling them what happened first.

"Did you get in a fight?" Cristal asked.

"Was it me? Did I do something?" John asked.

"Did something trigger a bad memory?" Kayla asked.

"I want to take a shower." I said, crying. "Please..just leave me alone...all of you.."

"Why do you want to take a shower?" Frankie asked.

I took off running to my room, getting my pajamas and then I ran into the bathroom to take a shower. I took a long shower. I cried the whole time as I washed myself thouroughly. I felt so disgusting.

A few days went by, and I still wasn't myself. I wouldn't talk much, and I didn't want to go anywhere or be around anyone. I stayed in my room all day reading books to get my mind off of what happened, and during the night I would have horrible nightmares where I found myself screaming for John. He would run into my room hugging me telling me that he was right there and I would still cry because I didn't want him to leave. But I pushed him away from me, because I didn't want him touching me.

One day he and I were in the kitchen, and as I was washing dishes, he put his arms around me, and I yelled at him and pushed him away from me as I left the water running, and I walked into my room. Another time, we were all watching a movie together in the living room, and John tried to caress my neck, and I pushed him away.

While I was in my room crying myself to sleep, everybody else gathered in the living room and Carmine said he thought he had an idea of what was wrong with me.

"Well what's wrong with her?" John asked, angry. "I hate this! She won't even let me kiss her anymore! It's like she's scared of me or something."

"Don't get angry with me, but I think she got 'touched'." Carmine said softly.

"What!" John yelled. "How can you think sick thoughts like that! Your fing disgusting man!" He got up ready to fight Carmine, when Kayla got inbetween them.

"This is no time to be fighting guys! Amanda really needs us! John she is showing all the symptoms. Somebody needs to talk to her, and ask her what's going on." Everybody looked at John.

"Me?" He said.

"Yes, you. She cares about you, and adores you like no other. Maybe she'll open up to you." Cristal suggested.

"She won't even come near me!" He yelled.

"So don't go near her. Just talk to her. That's all you need to do John. Try to get it out of her. If something happened to her, we need to know. " Frankie said.

"Fine. I'll try it."

John walked in my room, and asked if he could talk to me. I nodded my head 'yes' as he closed the door. "May I sit on the bed, next to you?" He asked. I shook my head 'no' as I pointed to the chair next to my bed. "That's cool with me." We were quiet, and he got uncomfortable, so he started pacing back and forth the room. I got up to put my book that I was reading on the bureau. John came from behind me, and hugged me. I started freaking out and he let me go. "Amanda, I need to know what happened to you that night." I started shaking my head 'no' frantically as I sat back down in my bed and pulled the covers over me.

"Amanda, did the argument we had earlier that evening have anything to do with what's going on now?"

"No." I whispered.

He smiled. "You talked. We're finally getting somewhere." It was quiet again. "Why haven't you talked to any of us?"

"I don't want too."

"Why not?"

"I just don't!" I yelled at him.

"Okay! Okay! I'm sorry!" he apoligized. "We all kind of finally came up with something that might've happened to you." I didn't say a word. "Amanda, did you talk to anybody new at the bar?" John asked.

"Yes." I said softly.

John tried to sit next to me on the bed. I allowed him to, this time. "What did you guys talk about?"

"You."

"Me? What about me?"

"Our relationship. He saw me by myself, and noticed you with a bunch of chicks. He asked me what I was doing by myself."

"And then what happened?"

"He said that dating a Gotti could be a real 'trip'."

John started getting irritated. "Oh really? And what was your reply?"

"I told him that you were not always like this, and that you were a true gentleman."

John smiled. "What he have to say to that?"

"He said that he would never treat a lady like you did."

"Oh really?" John started getting angry again.

"Yeah."

"So what did you say after he said that about me?" John asked.

"Nothing. We went for a ride." I said, looking away. I almost cried.

John noticed that I wasn't looking at him anymore. "Amanda?" He didn't say anything. He started getting teary-eyed. "Something happened to you in that car.." He whispered to himself. "Am I right?"

I started crying. "No.." I tried to lie.

"Don't lie to me!" He yelled. Everybody in the living room heard him. I started crying uncontrollably. "What did he do to you!" I shook my head, and cried some more. He held me and asked me one last time to tell him what happened. "Amanda, I know you're scared but you have to tell me." He said softly, crying.

"I can't.." I whimpered.

"Yes you can."

"I can't...or else he'll hurt you.." I whispered.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, letting go of me. "Amanda, tell me what he told you."

I looked at John, and I could see the tears coming out of his eyes as he tried to hold them back. "He told me that if I told anyone that the person I loved; which he meant you, would be killed in front of me." I whispered. I started crying again.

"Amanda, nobody's going to hurt me." He held me tighter than before. "Is that why you haven't told anybody?" I nodded my head 'yes'. John told me he'd be right back. He let go of me and ran out the room furious.

"What happened John? What she say?" Carmine asked. Kayla and Cristal heard me crying, so they ran into my room to console me.

"You were right! Some dude fing touched my girl! Now she's scared to death! He told her that if she told anybody what happened, that he'd kill me in front of her. So she held it in. But this time, I'm calling the cops. We're gonna get this fing son of a b!" John punched the wall and the boys got all fired up.

"No!" I screamed as Kayla and Cristal tried calming me down. "No John! Please!" I cried. I ran into the kitchen hugging him. "Don't tell the police! I don't want you to get hurt! Please!" I screamed.

He hugged me tightly. "It's okay. I'll be fine. Nothing's gonna happen to me." He whispered, as he tried to calm me down. I was so scared about what was going to happen. For the longest time, I didn't let him go. 


	3. I Kick A When Theres A To Be Kicked!

Italian Drama

EPISODE 3: "I Kick A, When There's A To Be Kicked"

By: Amanda H.

The next few days were a little arkward. We were finally leaving the Hamptons, but John insisted that he get the perv, and Carmine and Kayla swapped numbers, email's, and addresses just to keep in touch with each other. John and I did the same. I was still freaked out about what happened but I went to a nearby emergency room with John and the doctor checked me out.

Before Kayla, Cristal, and I drove home, we went back to the boys' place to say good-bye to Victoria and all their friends. Victoria could tell something had happened because of the way John and I were acting. She begged John to tell her what happened, but he refused. He was still so angry at Andrew.

From then on, he tried to stay as close to me, as he could and never touched me unless I agreed to let him. He was very cautious. I kept to myself and was making my decision on whether or not I wanted to tell my parents. But then again, they deserved to know what happened. I just didn't want them to not ever trust me again.

While everybody was at the dinner table, I noticed that John wasn't seated. I walked up to his bedroom to let him know that dinner was ready. I found his door open just a slit. He was sitting on his bed, and by the looks of it, he had been crying. He was talking to himself.

"I'm so sorry.." He cried. "I should've been there to protect her..." I opened the door, and he quickly jumped up off the bed and wiped the tears out of his eyes. "What are you doing?" He asked.

I walked up to him and hugged him. "John, I don't want you blaming yourself." I told him. A few tears shed.

"But I should've done something!" He yelled. "Instead I was too busy dancing with some girls I didn't even know!"

"But it's not your fault! It's my fault. I chose to get in his car..I did."

He let go of me. "I just wish you could've told me sooner. But don't worry. I got some friends looking for him right as we speak. When I find him, I'm gonna f him up!"

"John you can't!" I told him.

"Amanda! He deserves to get his a kicked!"

"Yes he does! But not by you."

"The police aren't doing s!" He yelled.

"Yes they are. John you're just way too caught up in this. I knew I should've never told you what happened.." I turned around.

"Amanda, I love you! I don't want you hiding anything from me. If something's wrong with you, I want to fix it!"

I turned back around. "John don't ever say you love me."

"But-"

"Don't! You just think you do."

"Amanda-"

"Just end it! We're done with this conversation. Let's go eat.." We walked downstairs together to meet everybody at the dinner table. Nobody took their eyes off of John and me. We were the only one's not talking, and not looking up at anyone. Everyone else just stared.

"It was delicious. Thank you again for a wonderful meal." I said, as I got up and pushed my chair in. My friends did the same, and the boys followed also.

Victoria pulled John aside and asked him what was wrong. She could tell that something had happened. She wouldn't leave him alone. He kept walking away as she kept bugging him. My friends and the boys all hung out together while John and I stayed in the living room alone to chat. I was really going to miss him.

I started tearing up. "I figured we oughta get this over with..." I began.

"Please don't cry." He told me. We hugged. "Don't worry, we're gonna keep in close contact with another."

When we let go, Victoria walked in and announced that somebody was at the door for John. The man apparently had been looking for John for a while. John asked who it was, and then she answered, "I don't know. He just said to meet him at the last bar you guys were at. He said he was a close friend?"

I looked at John, and began to get really scared. "Please John...If you loved me, you wouldn't go." I begged.

"What's going on?" Victoria asked.

"Nothing ma. I just need to TCB." He grabbed his jacket and walked out the house, slamming the door. I ran after him.

When we got to his car, he tried pushing me away, and told me to stay home. But I refused to stay. "No! I can't let you do this!"

"Amanda, he's obviously looking for a fight if he came knocking on my door."

"So what? Be a man, John! Don't fight him! Please! Just call the cops!"

"No! He hurt you physically, mentally, and emotionally! And you don't want to put up a fight!"

"John, this isn't going to solve anything!"

"It will, when I'm through with him." he got in the car, and I got in too. I wasn't going to let him go by himself. John was angry. I could tell in his eyes. When we got to the club, he asked me to point Andrew out. But while we walked around, I didn't see him. Finally somebody whispered from behind the club where the woods were. John told me to wait, as he went to go check it out. I saw him disappear, and then I screamed. I ran into the woods, frantically looking for him.

When I found him, I found him tied up around a tree. Andrew stood there with a grin on his face and his friends were by his side. John had gray duct tape on his mouth, and rope around his neck, hands, and feet. One of Andrew's friends kept jabbing John with punches. Another, kept kicking him. Finally, Andrew took out his knife, and stabbed John in the stomach.

I started crying as Andrew started laughing. He walked up to me and whispered in my ear. "I told you what would happen." I walked slowly away, as I tripped over a stick and fell on the ground. "You know, it's funny..." He began. "You were in the same position when we were in my car." His friends laughed.

John was yelling something, but nobody understood him. One of Andrew's friends punched John in the face so he could shut up. John started bleeding from the nose. Andrew stabbed him in the stomach again.

"Please!" I begged. "Just leave him alone!" I cried.  
Andrew smiled. "You're still so pretty.." He started touching my neck. "But being pretty can only get you so far." He punched me in the face, and my lip started to swell. He also hit me again, but this time aiming for my eye.

I started shaking. I didn't want him touching me. Andrew walked back towards John and started pulling the rope harder around his neck. I could hear John screaming in agony from the rope burn. "Don't..." I begged.

"Don't what? I'm not doing anything precious, don't worry. By the time I'm done with this, he won't feel anything else we do." He snickered. He stabbed John once more in the stomach.

I got back up and I wiped my tears and let out my hair that was tied up. I figured that since Andrew thought I was pretty, I could use it to an advantage. I could easily get him in my trap as long as he was under my spell.

Andrew stared at me. "What are you doing?" He asked.

I smiled. "I'm thinking of how I'm going to thank you when you're through with him." John was still screaming.

"But I thought you loved him?" Andrew asked.

"I lied." I disgustedly kissed Andrew. "I made him fall in love with me, and then I was going to kill him to inherit what he had." I grinned.

"Really?" Andrew asked, shocked.

"Yes. So by you doing it for me, makes it easier. Now my fingerprints won't be all over his body."

"What do you mean, fingerprints?" He asked.

"Well with the materials you're using, with no gloves...your bound to turn up some prints...so thanks.." I gave a little evil laughter. "You made everything work out for me. And now you, go to jail."

Andrew let go of John's ropes and I noticed that John wasn't moaning anymore. So I thought fast and just started beating these guys, using every muscle in my body. I tripped Andrew and when he fell I grabbed the knife that they used, and stabbed him in the chest.

His friends got scared and took off running, thinking that the cops were going to come after them. While Andrew layed on the ground in a big puddle of blood, covering his wound with his hand, I untied Johns's ropes and took he tape off his mouth. He fell on top of me, because his body was so numb. I layed him on the ground and took his cellphone out of his pocket and dialed 911. Until they arrived, I tried my best to recesitate him and I kissed him and prayed that God would work this all out. My hands were soaked in blood.

When John woke up in the hospital, I was sitting by him holding his hand. I was just about to fall asleep, when he said my name. His family, and Cristal and Kayla were all there for him also.

"Amanda?" He asked, moaning.

"Hey, hun. I'm right here." I told him, as I squeezed his hand.

He smiled. "You kicked some major a." Everybody laughed.

I turned red. "Well, I kick a when there's a to be kicked." I smiled back at him.

"I'm sorry you got hurt." He looked at my face. I had a busted lip, and a black eye.

"Don't worry about me. I'm more concerned about you right now." At that moment, the doctor walked in.

"Hello everyone."

"Hey doc..." John said, softly.

"Hello John. I got some good and bad news." He said.

"Lay it on me."

"You suffered some bad injuries. You're throat is still red from the rope burn, and cause of the burn you'll have to drink alot of liquids for it to heal, and eat only cold food. Nothing too hot. Also, you have a few broken ribs so you have to be careful with those, and basically you can't play any rough sports for a while. You got stabbed 3 times in the stomach which caused alot of damage. You bled profusely. So we bandaged you up, and you have to keep applying the creme and medicine to your stitches that we gave you."

I started to cry softly to myself. I couldn't stand to listen to the doctor anymore. I walked outside the room quietly, hoping that nobody would notice. Everybody seemed too into the doctor anyways.

When I got outside, I started to bawl. I bent down on the floor, as doctors, nurses, and patients walked by, and prayed to God to watch over John. I was so worried. Suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and got up, only to see Victoria.

"I saw you leave the room. Are you okay?" She asked.

"No, I'm not." I wiped the tears from my eyes. "You must hate me for what happened."

"No, I don't. Neither you nor I could've stopped John from that beating. You warned him, and he didn't listen. He's a very stubborn Italian. Besides, he's too in love. Love can make you do stupid things." She joked.

"But he's hurt. And it's all because of me."

"That just goes to show how much he loves you." She smiled, as she reached out her arms for a hug.

I smiled. "Maybe you're right." We hugged, and not 2 seconds after, everybody came out of the room.

"John requested that only Amanda go inside to see him. He has to ask her something." The doctor said aloud.

I let go of Vic, and walked into the room. I tried to wipe my tears so John wouldn't notice that I had been crying. When I sat down on the chair, by John, he stared at me for a long time, before he started talking. He took my hand and kissed it. "I don't want you to cry anymore." John began.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, trying to lie.

"Please, don't try lying to me." I looked away. He lifted my chin up to face him. "I know you've been crying. Your eyes are all red. But don't blame yourself for what happened to me. Even if you hadn't come with me, I would've tried to fight back. I don't like to see my loved ones get hurt." I started tearing up again. "He hurt you." John said angrily. "So I wanted to hurt him back." He squeezed my hand. "Amanda, I don't know if you realize this, or not, but I love you."

"John, please don't--"I tried cutting him off.

"Don't tell me not to say it." He said, raising his voice above mine. "Because it's true. I really do love you. But I need to know if you love me back, or if we're just playing some sick twisted game."

I waited a while before I responded. "Of course I love you." I told him. "I wouldn't be here, if I didn't."

He smiled as he asked me to go inside his jacket pocket. His jacket was on the other chair on the other side of him. I pulled out a small black box. John smiled some more and asked me to open it. I found a beautiful engagment ring inside. I stood where I was, and before I could even say anything John caught me off-guard.

"Amanda?" He asked. "Will you marry me?" 


	4. The Big Question

Italian Drama

EPISODE 4: "The Big Question"

By: Amanda H.

I stared at the ring, and didn't even think of the cost. I was just shocked how John proposed. I never pictured John proposing to me. At least not so soon. I couldn't believe how beautiful the ring was. The diamond was perfect, and I could tell by the looks of it, that it was exactly my ring size.

I sat on the chair next to John again, and looked at him square in the face. He just smiled, and said, "I know that this is not the most romantic way to ask, with me being in the hospital and all, I can't bend down on one knee. But I really wanted to ask you." John took the ring out of the black box. He looked it over, as if he was examining it. "So what do you say?" He asked.

I didn't know how to answer him. "I can't believe you're asking me this." I said, as a tear started coming down my cheek. John wiped it away.

"I told you, I love you. Now you can think it over if you want. There's no need to rush." He told me.

I smiled at him. "I love you." I told him. He put the ring back in the box and told me to put it away. He told me not to say anything to anybody until I had my final answer. Then I kissed him on the lips. His kiss was still beautiful. At that moment, everybody walked in. They asked if John and I were done talking. I quickly put the box in my pocket, as John nodded to them. Victoria closed the door behind her.

The next day, John was able to go home, with all the required prescriptions the doctor prescribed. John had to be very careful with what he ate, and what he did for recreation. I helped him slowly regain his strength. I stuck by his side, the whole time he needed me. When we were in our own privacy we would talk about the ring, and he would ask me if I had my answer. It had been 2 weeks since he asked, and I still didn't know what to tell him.

We were in his room, watching a movie, when I brought it up. John was relaxing with his shirt off on his bed. I was laying down next to him with my head on his shoulder. I looked at his scars that he had from the stab wounds. The stitches had already been taken out by this time. I started feeling them, as I thought of that night. John still had some small bruises on his legs and when I looked at his throat, I could still see the outline of the rope burn. John grabbed my hand and kissed it. He smiled at me, and then he kissed my forehead. I layed back down on his shoulder when I brought up the ring.

"John, we need to talk." I told him.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"I want to know why you did this. You could've just stayed away, but you were determined to get him. Why did you even bother?"

He lifted my face so I could look at him. "I did it for you. I am crazy in love with you. I just got so angry that some guy hurt you. I couldn't stand to see you crying, and locking yourself in your room all day. So when I found out, I went crazy."

"You really love me John?" I asked him.

"Yes I do."

"Good. I love you too." I gave him a fake smile. We kissed, and then I took the ring out of my pocket.

John started turning red. "I thought you weren't going to bring that out unless you had a final answer?" He started getting excited.

I sat up, and stared at the ring for a few seconds. "This is really beautiful." I started. John suddenly changed his facial expression. He looked worried. "And I know that when some lucky girl gets this, she'll be overjoyed. But you have gone through too much already, and I don't want to put you through anymore pain. You deserve better than me." I began to cry a little.

"Amanda? What are you saying?" He moved away from me, slowly.

I wiped the tears from my eyes. "I can't marry you." I put the ring back in the box, and set it on the end table. I got up, and walked out of the room. John tried yelling my name, but his throat was still causing problems with his voice, so he just stopped yelling after the third time I didn't respond.

I went outside and sat on his door-step. His mother Victoria saw me leaving, and went to chase after me, thinking that I was leaving John. She saw me sitting on the step, crying. She sat by me, and tried to console me.

"What's the matter? Are you guys arguing again?" She asked.

"No." I answered her.

"Then what is it?"

"Everything is just moving too fast." I told her.

"What do you mean?"

I didn't want to tell her, but I did anyways. "John proposed to me." I started. She was shocked.

"And what happened?"

"I got so nervous! I was shocked. I He gave me a few days to think about it. He proposed to me back when he was in the hospital. I figured I oughta give him his answer now. But Vic, I've caused him so much pain already..." I bawled. "I don't want him to hurt anymore..." I covered my eyes, and kept crying. John secretly was watching from the window.

"Do you love him?"

"Of course I do." I cried.

"Then don't worry about what has happened to him, and think of the future Amanda. If you don't think positive, it won't be anything but negative. John really loves you. Everybody can tell. And I know you can tell too because he proposed to you. By doing that, he put his heart out on the line. Running away from him, when you know you love him back is not the smartest thing to do." She hugged me. "If you want to spend the rest of your life with him, I suggest you go get him, before he finds someone else."

I looked at Victoria, and then we got up and started walking back in the house. I caught John looking out the window. He moved away, when he saw me. When Victoria and I walked in, John was sitting on the couch in the living room by himself, trying to act like he didn't know what was going on.

Victoria walked back into the kitchen, as I sat next to John. He didn't even look at me. "John, I saw you in the window. Don't act like you're so innocent." I said aloud.

"Why are you so scared?" He asked, not taking his eyes off the floor.

"John, this is all so new to me..."

"Is that the truth?"

"Yes. Why would I lie to you?"

"I don't know. But somehow you know how to break a man's heart."

"Please don't make this harder than it already is." I begged him.

"Harder than it already is? I don't think it can get any harder than it already is." I tried to reach for his hand. He backed away. "I don't like being played with."

"I'm not playing you."

"Amanda, you have no idea what you want! That's playing games!" He finally looked at me. "You're acting like a little kid."

"I'm sorry."

"Just leave me alone." He got up, and started walking away.

I stopped him just in time. "John we're not done talking yet." I told him.

He walked back over to me. "What else do we need to talk about?" He asked.

"Our wedding plans." I smiled. He looked at me funny. At first, I thought he was going to turn his back and start walking away again.

"Our what?" He asked, as his frown slowly turned into a smile.

I got up off the couch and kissed him on the lips. I had longed so long to kiss him like I did. We kissed for a long time until I finally needed air to breathe. "I do want to marry you John Gotti. I do."

He grinned, and started turning red in the face. "Say those last two words again..." He asked.

"I do." I said, giggling.

He laughed. "Man, I can't wait till we say that at the wedding." He joked. We laughed. He pulled out the black box from his pocket and he took the ring out. He slid the ring on my finger, as he called for everybody to come to the livingroom. Victoria saw that I had a big smile on my face, and gave me the thumbs up. Everybody just stared at us. "We're getting married." He announced. His mom started crying, and my friends ran up to me screaming and hugging me, and his brothers hugged him and gave him 'daps'.

I never saw John so happy this whole time. He held my hand the whole rest of the night and we even slept together for the first time. But don't get too excited! Nothing happened! He couldn't stop talking about the wedding, and who was going to be invited, and who he was going to call the next day to tell them he had a 'fiance'. I was also very happy, because not only had I found a real love, but I found a soul mate. I couldn't believe that I was going to spend the rest of my life with this man. When I called my mom and she found out, she at first didn't like the idea. She told me that I had just met him, and that love took time to build in a relationship. But John and I both explained to her how deeply in love we felt, and then she started easing up a bit. Finally she got excited, because she had been waiting for my wedding day for a long time.

The next night, Victoria invited all of her family to the house for dinner. Nobody knew about John and I's engagement. John and I wanted to surprise everyone. I was getting really nervous because I hadn't met any of John's family members, and I had prayed the night before that hopefully they would let me into their family with open arms. I had no idea what to expect. I was so nervous, that it took me 2 hours just to get ready. I didn't want to look bad in front of my fiance's family.

When it finally came time, everybody was walking around, and talking, and having a great time. John held my hand the whole time, and tried his best not to let out our big secret. But one of his family members kept a close eye on us, and could tell that there was something fishy going on.

John introduced me to everyone and I smiled so much, that my mouth was starting to hurt. John was a chatter-box, and I was as shy as ever. Kay and Cristal hung around Carmine and Frankie the whole night because they didn't know anybody either.

Pretty soon, it came time for dinner. The food was fabulous. Everybody was really sweet and talked to me as if I was already a part of their family. I made them laugh, and that's what I figured made them like me. We all seemed to enjoy one another. After everybody was done eating, and we were just sitting at the table with our plates empty, and our glasses full of wine, John grabbed my hand and smiled at me, as I smiled back.

We both stood up and then everybody focused their attention on us. Victoria kept telling everybody to be quiet, and then finally when the room was silent, John made the announcement. "We're getting married."

Everybody started yelling in Italian and clapping for us. Some of John's uncles were making jokes with him, telling him he was a 'lucky' one. His aunts and cousins gave me hugs and kissed me on the cheek. That was a family tradition. His uncles just shook my hand and welcomed me into the family. I was shocked at how easy it was. Cristal was laughing because she never heard so many Italian words, and Kay was smiling at me cause she could tell how happy I was.

It was a while before John and I got married. We had to make alot of arrangements and save up alot of money. But all in all, it turned out beautiful. I wore a white gown with a pretty veil, and he wore a white tuxedo. It took place on the beach and both our families got along well when they first met each other. We exchanged our vows and I cried alot. When we finally put the rings on each other's fingers and kissed, I still hadn't stopped crying. I loved every moment of it.

The reception was great. We had fun dancing and eating and basically watching our families mingle together. It was so nice to see everybody come together. John and I claimed 'I Swear' by Boyz II Men to be our wedding song. It was a beautiful dance. I loved my wedding day. I feel so lucky to loved. 


	5. To Be Or Not To Be Faithful

Italian Drama

EPISODE 5: To Be, Or Not To Be, Faithful

By: Amanda H.

Coming back from the Honeymoon, John and I were so happy together. We were so in love. It was like Heaven on Earth. We talked about everything, and how we were so happy to be Mr. and Mrs. John Gotti. We were so excited, or at least I thought we were.

When we arrived at his house after we were done visiting my family, we decided to live at his mother's house until we found a place of our own. We got together with his brothers and my friends and decided to go out for dinner.

After getting ready, and arriving at the restaurant we all took forever to order our food. When we finally agreed on what to order, a waitress approached our table. But before she introduced herself like normal waitresses would do, she shook the boys' hands and told them how much she loved their show, and then she shook my hand because she had heard of me.

John and her striked up a conversation which seemed endless until I interrupted them. "I'm sorry, but I was wondering if we could order our food now?" I asked, impatiently.

"Oh, sure. I'm sorry. You all must be starving." She giggled. She took our orders and then walked away.

I caught John checking her out as she walked away, so I hit his shoulder. He laughed. "Is this how it's going to be?" I asked him, being serious. Everybody else besides John knew I was serious.

He laughed, and then he kissed my cheek. "No, of course not. I'm only playing."

"That's what I'm afraid of." I whispered to myself.

When we arrived home, and we were getting ready for bed, I noticed that John just threw his clothes all over the floor, so I picked them up and was going to put them in the hamper, until a small piece of paper with a number and someone's name fell out of his pocket.

I picked it up and read it aloud. "555-6709 Annette?"

John caught me looking at the paper. "Hey." He said nervously.

"What's this about?" I asked him. "Is there something you're not telling me?" I crossed my arms.

"Um..I can explain that."

"Oh, please do." I said, sarcastically.

"I graduated a few months ago, and I swapped numbers with a friend of mine named Annette. It was in my pocket because I thought of maybe calling her today. But then I didn't bother because I dind't want you getting the wrong idea."

I was relieved. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know.."

He cut me off. "It's okay." He kissed me and turned around to go to bed. "Maybe you should go to bed too." He suggested. "It's getting late." He pulled the covers over him, as I joined him.

John slowly crept out of bed and got his pants out of the hamper. He checked to see if I was still sleeping. He smiled when he heard me snore. He knew I was dead asleep. He pulled a sweater over his head and headed downstairs, slowly shutting the bedroom door behind him.

He walked downstairs slowly so he wouldn't wake anybody. He grabbed his car keys off the kitchen table and headed out the door. He started his car up, and put some music on. He took his cellphone out and started dialing someone's number.

"Hey Annette? Yeah it's me John. So we're we gonna meet?" He grinned.

I woke up in the middle of the night after I heard someone's car take off. I noticed that john was gone, and when I looked out his window, so was his car. I was getting really nervous because I didn't want to think the worse of what he was doing, but sneaking out in the middle of the night wasn't such a good idea.

So I sat up drinking hot cocoa in the kitchen waiting upon his arrival to see where he had gone off to.

John and Annete met at the restaurant where she worked. He parked the car and she let them both in since she had the restaurant keys. She was to open the restaurant that morning, so thats why she had them. John was all smiles as she lead them in.

The restaurant was dark. So she grabbed his hand and led him towards the kitchen. She flipped the swith on, when they entered. John could finally see a little better and noticed that Annette was wearing a short black skirt, with a tight white top. Her high heels were about 2 inches big and her hair was up in a messy bun.

"Thank you for meeting me here." She whispered.

"No problem." He smiled. She started kissing him and he kissed her back. Then he backed away, pushing her hands away from him. "I don't think I can do this." He looked away.

"But this is why we came here."

"I know."

"John, you can either have fun with me or leave and go home to your so called 'wife'." He thought about it for a few seconds. "So what's it gonna be?" She asked, impatiently.

"Let's do this." He said. She smiled and he looked down. He knew it was wrong. They started kissing again.

Pretty soon, John arrived home and I was still sitting in the dark at the table so he didn't see me. He put the keys in his pocket and his cellphone on the table. I grabbed his hand and he jumped.

"Who is she?" I asked him.

John got loose of my grip, and turned the lights on. "There is no she." He lied.

"Then where were you?" I asked him.

"I was helping Anette." He lied.

"At 12:00 at night?"

"Yes. She needed help."

"Like what kind of help?"

"The kind that you need to stay out of!" He yelled at me.

"John, why are you yelling at me?" I whispered.

"Because! You're turning this into a big deal, when all I did was help her out!"

"Okay, okay, I believe you. I'm sorry for asking." I wouldn't look at him, as I got up to walk back towards the bedroom. He watched me walk away, and when I shut the door behind me, he started crying.

"I screwed up big time." He said softly to himself as he sat at the kitchen table for a little while.

The next day, I barely talked to John. I didn't want to bother him. His cell phone kept ringing non-stop. At some times I wanted to answer it for him, but I didn't dare to touch it. But then it just started getting on my nerves. John was too busy with his friends in the next room, so I picked it up. A girl started talking before I could say hello.

"It's about time you answer your phone! I've been going crazy about yesterday. I miss you. We need to do it again. Where do you want to meet? The restaraunt? I offered to open it again so I have the keys; because I wanted us to go there. Yesterday was so great wasn't it? Just you and me, and nobody else? It really meant alot to me."

I just stood there in shock. John caught me on his phone and ran up to me. "What are you doing!" He asked me. His friends watched from afar. I started crying.

"John are you there! I'm talking to you!" Annette screamed on the phone.

John overheard her. "Shut up! You b! Don't you ever fing call me again! Leave me the f alone!" He yelled as he grabbed the phone away from me.

I started backing away from him, as tears rolled down my cheeks. I couldn't stop them. "How could you do this to me?" I whispered.

"Amanda, I can explain..."He said softly. "Please..." He was about to cry. He tried to reach out to hold me.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed. I pushed him away. He grabbed me, and held me as I kept yelling. "Leave me alone! You dirtbag! Don't touch me!" His friends left, seeing as they could tell it was a bad time.

"Please, let me explain.." He started crying as he let me go. I backed away from him.

"I can't believe you." I said softly, still crying. "What ever happened to remaining faithful!" I yelled.

John sat down on the couch and covered his head in his arms. "I don't know."

"You cheated on me!" I yelled.

"I'm sorry." He started wiping his tears away.

"What made you do it? I knew you were lying about who 'Annette' was. What made you run to her?"

"I don't know!" He yelled back at me. "I screwed up, and that's that! I knew it was wrong, and I did it anyways. But it meant nothing to me!"

"It has to have meant something! She certainly thought it did!"

"That's what she thinks! But all that time I was doing it, I was picturing you and me doing it together. Not me and her."

"You're sick John."

"What!"

"I thought I married a more resectful man than what I see before me. If you wanted too, just ask me. Don't run off to the nearest s you see!"

"But I thought you'd say no, because of what happened to you before!"

"Don't even go making excuses!"

"So if I asked you right now, you would leave with me and we'd go do our thing?" He asked.

"John--you just cheated on me!"

"What if I didn't?"

I sat down next to him. "I don't know.." I whispered. "I honestly don't."

John shook his head. "I didn't want you to think I was trying to force you. Beside's I wasn't sure if you'd be okay with it. Especially after what happened to you."

"So, what? You needed your daily fix? Is that it? Because if so, then this marriage was the worse thing we could've ever done."

"What's that supposed to mean?" John, asked getting angry.

"It means if you don't clean up your act, then I'm out of here." I got up and walked away.

"Wait! Amanda! You can't just leave me!" He yelled from the couch.

"Watch me." I said, not even facing to look at him.

The next few days were pretty good. John and I didn't talk much to each other, but everynight I'd stay up just to see if he'd leave, and he never left. He bought me a few gifts here and there but the damage he caused was not something he could hide with a gift.

I wouldn't let him kiss me. I was too nervous to touch him. I didn't know who he'd been with and if he was still cheating on me. I was still not able to trust him. His mom could even tell that we were drifting apart. She said it was unusual for a newlywed couple to be so apart from each other. Nobody knew what he had done to me. We decided to keep that a secret. We were both embarrassed. Especially me.

One night, John and I were watching TV in the room when he told me about a house he had bought for us. He thought it would be a nice surprise. But I didn't care to much for it. I just wanted our relationship to be the way it was. I felt so lonely and in the dark.

"So what do you think?" He asked. "We get to start packing our stuff tomorrow. I'm really excited. I figure this is a whole new beginning for us." He smiled at me, but I could tell that it was fake.

"I don't think I have much of a choice..." I told him. Turning my back to him.

"Amanda, you can't hold this grudge against me forever. I apoligized. Everything was said and done. What else do you want from me?"

I turned to look at him again. "You. I want you John. I want you back. I want the 'old' John. The one who always complained about his hair. The one who loved talking Italian, the one I could sleep next to, and not have to worry whether or not he's leaving me for another girl. I just really feel like I'm losing you John." I started crying. "I don't wanna lose you." I whispered.

John kissed me, and for the first time, I didn't back away or fight it off. The kiss seemed never-ending. It was like we longed for each other for so long. I was so caught up in it, that I had to pull away from him in order for us to unlock our lips.

John wiped the tears streaming down my cheeks. "You're not losing me. I messed up once, but I'm not going to do it again. You mean so much more to me than anything else. I'm not going nowhere."

I tried to smile, but I was still very emotional. John leaned in for another kiss, but this time I turned my head. "Please.." I begged him. "I gave you my heart, don't break it." He kissed me softly and then held me in his arms while I cried. All John could do was say how sorry he was.

A few days after, John was nowhere to be found around the house. So I decided to drive up to the nearby beach and just take a long walk. A long relaxing walk. But when I got there, I realized that paradise wasn't as beautiful as I thought it would be.

I parked my car in the shadow of some trees. I could see John's car parked in the sun and he was getting out of it. He looked around, and then headed onto the beach. I followed after him, being as quiet as I could so he wouldn't notice. I caught him meeting up with the waittress we had met at the restaurant. I finally remembered her name. She was the mysterious Annette.

When they met up, Annette was smiling, but John kept his distance. I walked a little closer so I could try to hear them, but I was still too far away to hear anything. Finally I lost my cool and walked up to them, very slowly. Trying to hold back my tears.

John and Annette met up at the nearby beach. He wanted to set things straight and make sure that she never called him ever again or got involved between him and me.

When he got up to her, she was smiling and looked so happy to see him. When John called her, she thought he wanted to spend some time with her again.

"Annette.." He started, looking away.

"Yes John?" She smiled.

"We're done. I don't want to do this anymore. You still keep calling me and texting me on my phone. I don't want you to do that anymore. I don't want to even see you anymore. I love Amanda. And I'm not going to hurt her anymore."

"But.."

"Please..just don't bother me anymore." Annette looked to the side and saw me walking up towards them. John turned to see who it was that she was staring at. "Amanda?" He asked.

"Yes John. It's me. So you still are sneaking around." I answered him, when I finally got up to the two of them. I had my arms crossed for about two seconds and then I was just too aggravated.

"No, you see.."

"Don't even start. You were lying to me in the beginning, and now you're lying to me now."

"Amanda I was trying.."

"Trying to what? Break my heart? Because if you were, then you accomplished your objective."

"Amanda, John and I love each other." Annette said. "We didn't know how to tell you." She grabbed John's hand.

"What!" John yelled, pulling his hand away. "Amanda, that's not true! Don't believe her!"

"John, who can I believe nowadays?" I started walking away when I had to tell him one more thing. "Oh, and by the way, when I get home, I'm leaving. You'll be getting the divorce paper's soon enough."

John watched as I walked away, and then took off in my car peeling the streets. He paced back in forth and then started praying aloud as he felt his cross chain. Annette just stood there and smiled. When he was done praying he gave Annette a dirty look.

"So when can I call you?" She smirked. John took the phone out of his pocket. Then he threw it as far as he could in the water. "What was that about!" She yelled at him.

"For coming in between me and my wife." He said in her face.

"Don't you mean ex?" She smirked. 


	6. No Such Thing As True Love

Italian Drama

EPISODE 6: "No Such Thing As True Love"

By: Amanda H.

When I arrived back at the Gotti's home, I started packing my stuff. It wasn't long after that John appeared and I knew exactly what he was going to try and do. He (like always), begged me to stay. And I always had to find my way out.

"Amanda, you can't believe her."

"John, I can't believe anybody or anything anymore. I'm sick of you lying to me!"

"Please don't give up on me now. I won't do it again, and that's a promise." He tried kissing me and I pushed him away as I started crying.

"Don't even try it!" I yelled. "You go out sneaking around with another girl, and you want to just kiss and make up! What's wrong with you!"

"I don't know!" He yelled back.

"For a husband you sure know how to break your wife's heart. We haven't even been married that long!" John just shook his head. "Good-bye John. Maybe you'll grow up someday." I grabbed my suitcases, and took off. My friends came with me.

A few years passed and one summer, I decided to go visit Victoria. She and I still talked after John and I got divorced. We became good friends and we hadn't seen each other in a while. I had a boyfriend and he and I weren't getting along that well. He was somewhat abusive, but I always forgave him because I figured I would never find anybody else. I just figured that I ought to stay with the person I'm with.

When my boyfriend Steven and I arrived at Victoria's house, the boys had all moved out and she asked us to stay a few days at the house instead of at a hotel. But what she didn't tell me was that John was on his way home from college. He just finished studying criminal law and wanted to see how his mom was doing.

When we were seated at the dinner table and the maid brought out the food, I accidently put my elbows on the table, and Steven hit my arm. He was basically telling me not to put my elbows on the table. We heard John yelling when he came in through the door. My heart stopped, and Victoria stared at me.

"I didn't even know he was coming!" She told me.

My boyfriend Steven asked me who was here, as Victoria went to greet her son. "It's my ex husband. John." I looked down.

Steven got angry and told me to look at him. " You do anything fishy, and I will beat you like I never did before." He pulled up my long sleeves and pointed out the bruises he had given me. "You think those were bad? You'll get worse. So keep your mouth shut."

John and Victoria walked in, and I quickly covered my arms up. John looked at me, but when I looked back at him, he quickly turned his head away. Last time we saw each other was in court.

John sat at the table with the rest of us and we got on with the rest of the night. After dinner, Steven announced that I had to go to the bathroom.

"Time for you to go to the bathroom honey. You need to take your medicine." He covered up.

I looked at him, as if, not wanting to go. But his eyes were scary enough to change my mind. I slowly walked into the near bathroom and made myself vomit. Steven always made me vomit after I ate. He believed in being with a skinny woman. He always told me I was fat and that I needed to lose more weight.

Victoria took our plates from the table and as Steven and John chatted, Victoria put the plates in the sink. She passed the bathroom and heard me vomiting. She knocked on the door and asked me if I was okay. "Um, yes, I'm fine. Don't worry about me. I'll be out in a few." Victoria walked away, but she felt a little uneasy.

That night before Steven and I went to bed, he hit me a few times for looking at John at the dinner table. I cried, but I didn't yell or scream someone's name. After he was done, I took a shower and tried to clean my cuts up as much as I could. He had smacked my face a few times, hit me with his belt on my legs and pushed me against the furniture.

When I took my shower I looked at my poor bruised body and couldn't believe I let him do this to me. I cleaned myself up and got dressed. I covered myself from head to toe in my pajamas.

The next day, I looked in the mirror and noticed a bruise on my face from when Steven smacked me. My back was hurting because he had pushed me up against the bed post. I couldn't bend down because my legs were all cut up.

When I went downstairs for breakfast, John noticed my bruise on my face. He asked me where I had gotten it from. I was about to answer him, when Steven came from behind me an answered the question for me.

"She walked into the door last night. It was actually pretty funny."

"Amanda, have you lost weight since I last saw you?" John asked. I just turned away.

"You noticed it too? She's on a new diet. I'm so proud of her." Steven lied.

"Amanda you don't look too well.." John commented. "By the way, I was wondering if we could talk later on.. I need to talk to you about something privately."

"I'm afraid she can't." Steven answered for me again.

"No offense Steven, but I asked Amanda." Steven gave John a dirty look. "What do you say?"

"I can't." I whispered.

"But Amanda!"

"I said, I can't.."

Later on that night Steven yelled at me for wearing pants that were too tight. He said that John was staring at me all day and he didn't like that. He made me stand up straight while he ripped my clothes. Then he laughed. "How would you feel if people saw you walking around like that?" He asked. I didn't answer him. "Answer me!"

"Humiliated." I said softly.

"Well that's how I felt." He said in my face. "Now go get ready for bed."

After Steven fell asleep, I was still awake. I couldn't sleep. I sat outside on the front door steps for a little while to watch the stars.

"Amanda?" John whispered, as he tapped my shoulder.

"John?" I whispered back, grabbing his hand. "Please sit with me."

"Are you okay?" He asked, as he sat next to me.

"What makes you think I'm not okay?" I asked.

"I haven't seen you smile since I got here. And your hand is really cold. I also noticed that your boyfriend kept answering all your questions I asked you."

"He's a sweet man. He's just trying to help me out."

"By hitting you?" John asked. He wasn't stupid.

"What are you talking about?" I almost started crying.

"He's hitting you, isn't he?"

"No, he 's not. And don't say anything. I don't want you spreading rumors." I got up and walked away.

John stood up. "Hitting the one you're supposedly in love with, isn't true love."

"Well neither is cheating. But I guess we both found out that there is no such thing as true love a little too late." I walked in the door, and slammed it behind me.

The next morning Steven slept in. I was so relieved that for a few hours I could be by myself. I got dressed and went downstairs for breakfast. John just got done eating, and Victoria was sipping on some coffee. She looked beautiful as always, and John looked the same as always.

When John saw me, he walked up to me and asked if we could talk since we never really got to talk yesterday. I looked around to see if Steven was around. Then I answered him. "Sure."

We walked over to the living room, and sat on the couch. John cracked his knuckles and began the conversation. "We have many memories in this house...include this living room." He looked around.

"Yes we do." I said softly. Not looking anywhere around me.

Then John just came out and said it. "I'm so sorry Amanda. What I did to you, was wrong. I realize that now."

"John--" I started, shaking my head.

"No, wait. Let me finish." I just looked at him. He held my hand. "I honestly don't know why I did what I did to you. But I do know that I married you for a reason." I started tearing up. "I really do love you. I haven't been able to do anything since you left me. I finished college. But as far as dating goes, I've been a mess because I still have feelings for you."

"John I don't know what to say." A tear fell out of my eye. "But it's too late now.."

"I know you still care for me too." He said. I started crying. "Please, come back to me. We can start all over again." He pleaded.

I wiped away my tears from my face. "Start over? John I don't think I can do that."

"Why not?"

I tried to stand up but my back was still hurting. "I already have a boyfriend John. He loves me, and I love him." I tried to say it as confident as I could.

"Amanda, this man hurts you!" John yelled, getting up to face me.

"No! You just think he does!" I caught a glimpse of Steven watching me from the top of the stairs. He didn't look too happy. "Just leave me alone!" I ran away from John and up the stairs as fast as I could.

When I got to the top of the stairs, Steven grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me towards the room. "You just had to open your big mouth, didn't you?" He pulled our suitcases out and told me we were leaving. I could tell that I was in for a big beating. I didn't want to go home. I was too scared.

Steven yelled at me as we packed our clothes and he was calling me a bunch of names and telling me how much of a disgrace I was. I felt so humiliated and stupid. All I could do was cry.

When we walked out the door to our rental car, nobody saw us leave. But John was sitting on the lawn chair with no shirt on and sunglasses thinking about our conversation when he heard me crying. He also heard Steven's loud mouth. Victoria finally walked out the door on the phone when she saw me walking up to the car. She quickly hung up her phone and put it down on the ground.

She ran up to me and turned me around to face her. "What's going on!" She panicked.

I finally stopped crying. "I have to go.." I lied.

"I knew something was wrong, when I caught you vomiting in the bathroom." She said to me.

I started crying again. "Bye Victoria." I sat in the car and before I closed the door she said one last thing.

"You always have a home here." I nodded my head and closed the car door. We took off, and John tapped Victoria's shoulder.

"What's going on?" John asked.

"I don't know..but I have a bad feeling that I shouldn't have let her go."

"Why?"

"She was crying uncontrollably, and he seemed really angry."

"MOM!" He yelled at her.

"What!"

"You're such an idiot!"

"Excuse me!"

"She's being abused! He's taking her home so he can beat her some more!"

"Well go get her!"

"Damn, Ma! I can't believe you!" He screamed. He quickly jumped in his car and drove to the airport. He figured maybe, just maybe he could catch us before our plane took off.

While at the airport, I just stared out the window. I was so scared to go home. I looked around at the couples around me, and they all seemed so happy together. I knew they had problems of their own and that they weren't always this happy, but I just wish Steven didn't have to hit me. On the way to the airport he had punched my face, and busted my lip. I ran my fingers by my lips, and I could feel my upper lip swelling up.

I saw John getting out of his car and he was looking around the parking lot. I was praying that he'd see me looking out the window or he'd get to me before Steven did.

I saw Steven still talking to one of the air flight attendants, so I figured if I made a run for it, he wouldn't notice. I quickly grabbed my purse and my suitcase and ran outside to the parking lot. The people around me, must of thought I was crazy.

When I got outside, I started screaming John's name. I didn't want to get caught. I wanted to get as far away from Steven as I could.

John finally saw me running towards him. He started running towards me, and when we met each other, I gave him the biggest hug ever. He tried to hold me tightly but I asked him to let me go. He grabbed my hand and my suitcase and we ran back together towards his car.

"Get in the car!" He yelled to me. And as I got in his car, he put my suitcase in the trunk. Then he quickly hopped in the car, and we sped off. Leaving Steven in the far distance, screaming my name.

It was already starting to get dark out because in Autumn it really did get dark early. So John drove us to a really quiet spot in a shortcut he knew in the woods. He parked his car, and before he could turn to me and say anything, I kissed him.

When we were done, John just stared at me. "I'm sorry for just kissing you like that."

"No. Don't be." He said. "I enjoyed it." He joked. We laughed.

"John there's something I have to admit to you." John listened closely. "You were right. I was being abused." John shook his head. "And I do admit that I love you too. I've missed you alot." John smiled. John hugged me and I asked him again to be careful and not to squeeze me.

"Why?" I turned around and lifted my shirt up for John to see the cuts and bruises I had on my body. "What the --"

I cut him off. "It's not really as bad as it looks." I lied.

"How come you didn't tell me it was this bad?" John asked me while he stared at the steering wheel.

I turned around to face him. "John, I'm fine. I survived. He didn't kill me." I joked.

John punched the wheel. "I fing hate this!" He yelled.

"What?"

"Everytime you get hurt, I seem to always not be able to do anything."

"But John, you have done something! You got me away from him! That's more than what I could've asked for!"

John looked at me. "I just want you to be okay."

I smiled at him. "I am now. And that's all that counts." John still looked worried, so I dug around in my purse.

"What are you looking for?" He asked.

"I want to show you something." Finally I found it, it was at the bottom of my purse hidden underneath the inside lining. I took it out, and looked at it. It was a small wallet size picture of John and I on our wedding day. I carried it around with me everywhere. I loved that moment, and I treasured it each day. I always hid it from Steven. Steven didn't know it, and neither did John, but I always loved John. Even after we divorced. Getting divorced was the hardest thing I ever did.

John looked at the picture and then looked at me. "That can't possibly be--"

I cut him off. A few tears shed, but it was because I was happy. "It is." I answered him, as I didn't take my eyes off the picture.

"You mean?"

I smiled at him and nodded my head. "Yes. It's us." I handed him the picture, and he carefully took it out of my hands and stared at it.

He didn't say anything for a while. "I'm surprised you still have this."

"That was the best day of my life." I confessed.

"Mine too."

I took the picture back and hid it in my purse again. "Answer me this," I started. John listened closely. "Why were you drawn to Annette?" John looked out his window, trying to avoid me. "Look at me, John!" I yelled. Now I was beginning to cry.

"Amanda, please"  
"No! Tell me what you saw in her! Tell me why you snuck around!"

"I don't know. I honestly don't."

"Yes you do. You just don't want to tell me."

"I found out something..." John admitted. "From one of your friends. We were talking one night, and I got so excited about something. But then she told me the truth."

I swallowed, and listened closely. "What did she tell you?"

"You never told me you couldn't have kids." John said, staring me straight in the face. 


	7. The Truth Unfolds

Italian Drama

EPISODE 7: The Truth Unfolds

By: Amanda H.

I was embarrassed way beyond humiliation. One of my best friends, that I trusted to hold a secret, told my husband (at the time) that I couldn't have kids. I never expected it.

"Who told you this?" I asked, starting to get angry.

"Forget about who told me. It's your turn to answer my questions now."

I rolled my eyes. "Let me guess, you want to know why I didn't tell you?"

John grinned. "That would be a good start."

"I thought you might leave me if you found out I couldn't have kids. Alot of men like to start a family after they get married. I planned on telling you, just not until I was ready."

"You should've told me. I would've liked to know."

"What good would it have done you? You probably still would've went out and did the same thing!" I yelled. John looked down. "I'm sorry. That wasn't necessary. I shouldn't have said that."

"It's okay. I deserved it."

"So that's why you ran off to Annette, because you wanted kids?"

"Something like that."

"We can adopt.." I started.

"What do you mean we 'can'?" He asked. "What are you saying? We're back together?"

I blushed. "I don't know. I mean it's up to you."

John started laughing. "We gotta stop this."

"Stop what?" I asked smiling.

"This..this thing we always do.."

"And what's that?"

"One minute we love each other, the next we're arguing and breaking up, and then we're together again.." He laughed some more. "But I can't say I hate it." He grinned.

I smiled back at him slowly reaching for his hand. Just touching him, gave me the goosebumps. He reached in for a kiss and I gave it to him willingly. After he backed away from me, I climbed in the backseat of his car. I asked him to join me. He quickly climbed in the back with me and before I knew it, John and I were getting it on.

He took off his shirt and I recognized his stab wounds. I touched them and he grabbed my hand. "They're still there, but don't think it's your fault. I took the fall because I wanted too." I looked at him and gave him a fake smile. "Don't you ruin this.." He joked. We laughed. "We were getting somewhere.." I laughed again. He kissed me and I loved every minute of it. He looked really sexy just waiting patiently for me.

He started unbuttoning my pants when I started to lift my shirt. Then I remembered my bruises. I quickly covered myself back up. He took his hands away from me.

"What's wrong?" He asked, softly.

"We can't do this."

"Why not?"

"I look horrible. And you know I can't have kids, so what's the point?"

John held onto my waist, as he spoke. "First of all, I don't know why you think that. And secondly, I don't care if you can't have kids. This is part of showing love for someone. That's all I want to do. Show you I love you."

"John, I'm a walking bruise..."

"He may have hurt you, but that son of a b is not here and he's not going to hurt you anymore. I don't care what you look like. In my eyes, you're always beautiful."

I smiled at him. "Ever since I met you, it's been hell on Earth." I joked. We laughed. "Seriously. If we never got together..we'd be perfectly fine somewhere else."

"I'll admit I've done some crazy s since I met you. But it's also because of you that I got this far."

I stared at him for a moment. He was absolutely handsome and I loved everything about him. He had saved my life twice and and taken some battle wounds to prove it. He stood by me during the worst, and he was there during the best. He was my boyfriend, my husband, and my love. "So where were we?" I asked grinning. John smiled and we began kissing each other all over again.

When we returned to his house, we saw his mom waiting outside on the front steps. When she saw me get out of the car, she ran up to me and give me a hug. She told me that she was worried about me, and was so happy to see me.

"I'm fine." I told her. "Once again, John saved my life.." I looked at him, and he smiled back at me.

Victoria hugged John and asked him what was going on. She wanted to make sure I wasn't going to see Steven again and that I was safe. You could tell by the way she was acting, that she was a worry wart.

I told her my whole story and just telling her what had been going on behind closed doors made Victoria, John, and I all cry. Victoria was just shocked by it all, and John was mad that he wasn't there to help me, and I was just letting all my emotions out.

It was such a relief to get everything out. John told his mom that we were back together again and she was kind of happy for us, but was worried at the same time. She thought we might break up again, and she didn't want that. She said we caused too much drama. Boy was she right..

That night, while I was settling down to go to sleep, John walked in the room. He asked me if I was okay and if I needed anything.

"No, I'm fine. Thanks anyways." I said, not looking at him as I pulled down the covers.

"Amanda, it's me. John. You can look at me."

"I'm sorry." I said, looking at him. "I'm just so used to looking down."

John walked up behind me and hugged me. "Well you never have to look down when you're talking to me."

I smiled. "Thanks." John let me go and just stood there and watched me as I got into bed. "What's the matter?" I asked him.

"Nothing. I was just thinking about tonight." He grinned.

I turned red. "I don't even understand why I did that."

"I don't know why either, but your the one who asked me to come in the back remember?" He laughed. "So don't blame me for this one."

"You could've said no!" I yelled out loud, laughing.

"I had been waiting for that for a long time! Of course I wasn't going to say no!"

I turned more red and then I turned my body away from him. John just laughed and then he walked out the door. 


	8. Diaster Waiting To Happen

Italian Drama

EPISODE 8: Diaster Waiting To Happen

By: Amanda H

It felt so good to get everything off my chest. Talking to John about how I felt, and what was going on between Steven and I really helped me out alot. I felt so relieved.

I called my mother to let her know what was going on, and she was happy to hear that I was back with John. But when I told her what Steven had been doing to me the whole time, behind closed doors; she yelled at me for not telling her and then she got angry with Steven. But all in all, she was happy for me.

John and I decided that we needed to find a home of our own. So we went out and checked out a few open houses. John was more excited than I was. I was just nervous for the fact that this would be my first house, and with just John and I, I couldn't afford to take on a big responsibility like this.

"What's wrong?" John whispered to me, as we walked around a house holding hands. The real estate agent was explaining some of the houses' history. I was sort of in and out of a day dream.

"I don't know."

"What do you mean, you don't know?"

"I'm just scared."

"Of what?"

"Of buying a home."

"Why are you scared?"

"It's a huge responsibility! We're young, and we don't even have jobs..the money you're using is from your savings from college. I don't like the idea of having you spending your money like this. That was for college. Don't waste it."

"I'm not wasting it. I'm buying a home for us. This is just as great as any college. After I buy a home, we'll just have to go out and get jobs. Until then, we'll use my savings."

"John, I don't like this..."

"Amanda.."

"Excuse me, but is there something I can help you with?" The realtor asked us.

"Um, no..but I was wondering, does this house come with a discount?" I asked.

John shook his head laughing softly. "Amanda, please..."

"What? What did I do?"

Back in his white Mercedes on our way home, it was getting dark, and John and I were listening to music and joking around trying to lighten up the mood. Then John asked me a strange question.

"Amanda?" He started.

"Yes?"

"If you could go anywhere in this world, where would you go?"

Before I got to answer, we took a right turn at some lights, and some guy was out of driving out control and smashed right into the car. Everything at that very moment went black.

At the hospital, John waited as patiently as he could for the doctor to tell him what was going on. He hadn't even seen me yet. John was just a little bruised up and had some cuts on his face from the windshield glass exploding everywhere. John woke up in the hospital, so he didn't get to see me at all. He had no idea what I looked like. He was scared to find out. He waited in his room, for the doctor to come in and let him know the news. But he was started to get impatient.

His mother Victoria had just arrived and tried to calm him down. She tried telling him that I was okay, but he was still nervous. He wanted to know where I was, and how I was doing, and he wanted to know now.

The doctor walked in and John started screaming at him. Victoria was trying to calm him down, but he wouldn't listen to her.

"What the f took you so long! I've ben waiting here for hours! I asked for a doctor 3 hours ago!"

"John, just let him talk--"

John cut her off. "Don't you people know how to do your fing job? When a patient asks for you, you need to assist them! It's important!"

"I'm sorry John." The doctor apoligized.

"Don't apoligize to him Doc, he's just nervous. But Amanda's okay right?" Victoria asked.

The doctor stayed quiet for a little while. "Give it to me straight Doc. What's going on with my girl?" John asked.

"John, she's in intensive care. The car hit her side, so she got the worse out of you two. She might be paralyzed from her waist down. She was stuck in the car so the recue had to pry her out. And the windshield exploded so she has cuts on her face. We noticed that she has Anorexia and some bruises on her body too. Where is the Anorexia and the bruises coming from?"

The doctor stared at John. "I didn't hit her if that's what you mean. Mom, tell him I didn't hit her!"

"He didn't hit her. Her ex boyfriend was abusing her, and we didnt find out about it until the other day. We knew she was sick, but we never expected Anorexia." Victoria said.

"Well she's sick, and since her body is weak from not eating, she may not be able to recover."

"She's going to die!" John asked.

"She's more than likely going to go into a coma. If her body is weak, there's a good chance she might not wake up if she does."

John started laughing. "Your kidding me right? I mean, all we did was take a right turn at a light..she can't be as bad as you say she is."

"A coma?" Victoria said. "I can't believe it."

"Mom, he's lying. There's no such way." John started laughing again, but with a few tears. "He has to be lying."

"Sweetie, I don't think he would lie." She said softly.

John fought back his tears. "Don't do this.."

"John you can't just ignore it. It's true.."

"No! It's not! So just shut up!"

The doctor was about to leave the room when someone knocked on the door. the doctor let the person in, and he introduced himself.

"I'm Sean. I'm the one who hit your car. I wanted to make sure you guys were alright."

John got up out of bed and ran up to Sean and started punching him. "You did this to her! You son-of-a-b!" The doctor yelled for security, and they came in, and broke p the fight. One cop held Sean back, and another held John back.

"You did this to her!" John yelled.

"I tried apoligizing!" Sean yelled back at him.

"That's not going to get her to wake up out of a coma!"

Sean looked down, wiping his bloody nose with the sleeve of his shirt. "I'm sorry, Man."

"Just get out." John said, not looking at him.

"I'm really--"

"Get out!"

A few hours later, John was able to leave the hospital. While Victoria called my mom to let her know what happened, John walked in my room and found me hooked up to so many machines. He sat down in the chair next to my bed.

I had cuts on my face just like John from the windshield, and I had stitches on my forehead from a deep cut I had received from the accident. Seeing the feeding tube made John feel uncomfortable. He always remembered people from the shows like 'ER' and when the patients had tubes of any kind, it always meant bad news. John lifted up my blanket and found my legs all messed up. He saw that I had a fat lip, and my body was all bruised up twice as bad as before. From the accident, and from Steven. I wasn't moving, and when he held my hand he began to cry. My hand was cold, so he could tell that I was really messed up.

He wiped away some tears and still holding on to my hand, he started talking to me. He didn't know it, but I heard everything he said to me. "Amanda, I don't know why but you seem to get the worse of everything." He stopped for a second. "You were raped, you were cheated and abused, and now you might not ever wake up. I'm sorry for everything. Everything is my fault." He started crying again. Victoria quietly opened up the door and shut it behind her. She stood by the door. "If I had kept my eye on you, that guy never would have touched you. If I didn't act like such a fool I wouldn't have cheated on you and you would've never left me for an abusive man who almost killed you. And now, if we just went home that night, you would'nt be here right now. You must be in so much pain right now."

"John.." Victoria whispered. He jumped up, and let go of my hand. "It's not your fault."

"Yes it is! She wanted to go home, but I made her go out with me! Why didn't I just listen!"

"John, get a hold of yourself! Freaking out, and not having faith, is not going to help her."

"Mom, get real. Look at her. Do you really think she's just going to get up and walk again? It's not happening. She's sick, and that's all there is to it."

"Have faith."

John sat back down in the chair, and held my hand again. Victoria stood on the other side of my bed. "She never got to answer my question." John said aloud.

All of a sudden some machines started making really loud noises. John just stared at me, as I started fidgeting. I moved my hand and I started crying. My eyes weren't open, but tears were streaming down my cheeks.

"Calm down..I'm right here..don't worry..we were in a accident and your in the hospital. Don't be scared.." John told me.

A nurse and a doctor ran in, and started pushing buttons to make the machines stop making noise. The nurse checked my vital signs and the doctor gave John some more news.

"Well she's not going to go into a coma. She seems to be alert now. I guess she just needed some time to rest and take everything in."

"I told you!" John laughed. "I knew you were lying Doc! I knew it! My girl's a soldier!" He smiled. Victoria laughed.

"Yes, you were right." The doctor laughed, and then he and the nurse left.

John sat by me, and this time, I was the one to grab his hand. He looked at me, and I barely had my eyelids opened. I pointed to a pad of paper that the nurse had left behind on the table by the window. John got it, and sat back down and handed it to me.

"You want a pen?" He asked. I shook my head 'yes' and his mom handed me a pen.

"What is it?" John asked, smiling.

"I want to answer the question now." Is what I wrote down.

"Okay, well tell me. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?" John asked, smiling.

I started crying again and wrote down, "Heaven."

John stopped smiling and looked at me seriously. "Heaven?Why Heaven?" He asked.

I squeezed his hand very tightly. "Too much pain."

"Pain?" John asked nervously, as Victoria looked over at me to make sure I was okay.

I kept on writing. "I'm sorry. Please don't hate me. I 3 you." I let his hand and the pen go. I closed my eyelids and prayed for God to take me away.

"Amanda!" John yelled. "Don't do this to me!" He cried. "Don't leave me here!"

Victoria ran to the door to yell for the doctor. 


	9. Battle With Anorexia

Italian Drama

EPISODE 9: Battle W/ Anorexia

By: Amanda H.

I don't remember much. All I remember is seeing a bright light and then having everything go dark again. Finally I felt someone try to revive me. I heard a bunch of buzzing sounds, and when I awoke, I found out it was all the machines around me. The doctor, some nurses, John, and his family were all surrounding me.

As soon as I could see clearly, I grabbed John's hand quickly and held on to it, as tightly as I could. I couldn't talk because of all the hype that was going on. I was silenced. But I wouldn't let go of him for as long as I was awake. I saw Carmine smile at me, and Frankie waved to me to let me know he was there. I wanted to wave back, but I drifted off into a deep sleep again.

After I woke up from my nap, I noticed everyone around me. Victoria was reading a magazine, Carmine was looking out the window, and Frankie was watching T.V, while John kept pacing back and forth.

"John, pacing back and forth isn't going to wake her up." Victoria said, getting annoyed.

"So that's what I heard.." I said, trying to joke around. Everybody finally realized I was awake, and laughed at my joke. They all stood by my bedside.

"Hey baby, how you feeling?" John asked me.

"I'm alive, ain't I?" I tried to make another joke, but this time nobody was laughing.

"Don't even play like that. That s wasn't even funny." John said, not making eye contact with me.

"I'm sorry." I apoligized. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"Scare me? You practically killed me." He looked back at me.

"I'm sorry." I noticed John's face, and I asked him what happened. "The windshield glass broke into a thousand pieces remember? Some of it hit me in the face too."

I went to go touch his face, and John grabbed my hand. When I looked at him, I could see it in his eyes, that he really _was _scared of losing me. I wanted so much to let him know I was okay, but for some reason, I couldn't.

A few weeks later, I ended up leaving the hospital with nothing but slight Anorexia and some broken legs. I had to be wheeled around because both my legs were broken. The doctor had a nurse come and look at me every day to check up on my eating habits and see if my legs were healing.

After my legs were healed, John started getting on my case about my Anorexia. He turned it into too much of a big deal. One day I told him to mind his business, and he got really angry with me.

"I'm not the one with the eating disorder!" He yelled at me.

"Well you sure have an attitude problem!" I screamed back.

"I wouldn't have this attitude problem if you would just eat!"

"I _am_ eating! I'm eating as much I can at a time! Just leave me alone! I can take care of myself!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

I started hanging out with his brother Carmine alot, because Carmine and I became very fast friends after the accident. I could always run to him and talk to him about some problems I was having with John and stuff. He was a really cool guy. Kayla had broken up with him a few weeks prior to this day, for some other guy.

I saw Carmine watching television in the living room, and asked him I could join him.

"Sure.." He moved over and started flipping through some channels. Then he just left it on some music channel. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"John's just being a big baby. That's all."

Carmine laughed. "What's he whining about now?"

"He's trying to force me to eat..and I'm trying to eat as much as I can."

"He's just worried about you."

"I know he is...but yelling at me, isn't going to help me. I can't shove the whole plate in my mouth at once."

"Are you sure you don't need counseling?" Carmine asked.

"Counseling?" I asked. "Why would you ask that?"

"Well some Anorexics need counseling to help them overcome their battles with food."

"I can handle my food problems. Believe me, I can."

"Then how come you stuffed all your food down the drain?" Carmine asked being serious shutting the TV off.

"Wha--?"

"Amanda, don't try lying. I heard the drain, and when I looked in the kitchen you were the only one drying your hands with the towel. Nobody else was in there."

"How'd you--"

"You didn't know it, but I was right there when it happened."

"Don't tell John!" I begged him.

"Amanda! You have to eat!"

"Please!" I started crying.

"You can't be doing this to your body!"

John was about to walk in the living room, when he overheard Carmine and I chatting. He stopped, and spied on us from behind a corner.

"He's going to find out one way or another." Carmine stood up.

I stood up in front of him. "Please..just keep it between you and me." I begged Carmine. We hugged each other.

"You're beautiful, you know that right?" I started crying on his shoulder. "I hope you know that."

John walked in, except now he wasn't going to take no s. He was fed up, and he wanted to know what the hell was going on.

"What's going on here?" John asked, angrily. Carmine and I let go of each other, and backed away. "I asked a question. What the f is going on here!"

Carmine tried to calm John down, but it wouldn't work. "John, nothing's going on. Amanda and I were just talking."

"About what?"

I wiped my tears away. "Don't worry John. really. It was nothing."

"Oh really?" I shook my head yes. "Then why were you crying?"

"She needed to talk to me about something personal." Carmine answered him.

"How come she couldn't talk to me?"

"John--"

"No! Why couldn't she come to me? Am I that bad of a person?"

"No, of course not.." I said.

"Then what the f is _really _going on here? Because believe it or not, I overheard you two talking about keeping something between just you's, and you called her beautiful, and Carmine you said I was going to find out.."

Carmine shook his head. "You're thinking something totally different then what Amanda and I were talking about."

"Amanda if you're at least going to cheat with my brother, at least do it somewhere else." John said.

"John!" Carmine yelled. I couldn't stop crying. "What's wrong with you! We weren't doing anything!"

"I give you _everything_. _Everything_. What else do you want?" John asked me, close up in my face. "If you want my brother too, have him!" He yelled.

"John! Stop it! You can't talk to her like that!" Carmine yelled.

"Please stop!" I yelled at him.

John walked out of the living room, and Carmine hugged me again. "I'm sorry. He had no right to talk to you like that." I just rested my head on his shoulder as John watched us from afar.

When it was getting late, and I was finally resting, John walked in the bedroom and didn't say a word to me. He barely even looked at me. All he did was watch television.

"John?" I tried getting his attention. Surprisingly he looked at me. "Don't you think we need to talk?"

"No. There's nothing to talk about."

"John, Carmine and I are nothing but friends."

"Yes I know. I believe you."

"Really?" I started feeling relieved.

"Yes. You're just getting me back for what I did with Annette." He said, calm, cool, and collected. "Personally I think you're acting like a child."

"A child?" I asked, in shock. "John, you're sick, you know that?"

"Oh really?"

"Yes! I would _never_ cheat on you! Nor would I even think of dating Carmine!"

"Sure about that one?"

I didn't say anything for a second or two. "I can't believe you would think that low of me. Especially when I'm not the one with the bad reputation here."

John gave me a dirty look. "You didn't have to go there."

"Well I did."

John just got underneath the covers and turned his back towards me. Giving me the silent treatment again.

The next day John and I talked it all out, and he even apoligized to his brother for the way he treated him. I was so happy that everything was going right. But of course, when ever something is going right, there's always something to mess it up.


End file.
